The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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