What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize