People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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