Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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