im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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