Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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