[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We left an ass print on the piano.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
