can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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