Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
