Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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