I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
