but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
soo... how was my night?
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