Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize