the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
