I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
