i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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