Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
