I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
