Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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