So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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