DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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