Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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