A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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