You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i think my cat just said my name.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
