love makes seman taste better
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
