They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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