I bet he comes in French.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Randomize
