NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
