She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
