But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
this will be a night to untag.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
