it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
