i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
