If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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