I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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