you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
