I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
