i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
