my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i drank out of a bidet.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
