Kiss
Puke
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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