Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
