you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im six kinds of drunk right now
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
