thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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