What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
