dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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