im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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