You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
