fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
