You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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