WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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