Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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