I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
