I am spending my child support on dildos
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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