i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
