So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
