Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize