How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
4 words: hood of his car
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Operation Purity has been aborted
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
