He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize