I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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