What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize