That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
