I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
