are you still at the devil's house?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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