I got chris browned last night
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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