I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
