Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
