Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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