everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In other news, I just burned my penis
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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