DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
