I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
smell my finger.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
