I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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