I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
