sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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