TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
